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The Key to Lifelong Romance and Intimacy

There’s a common belief that romantic love fades over time. Many people joke that after the honeymoon phase, passion gives way to routine, and intimacy becomes a background element in a “good but boring” relationship. But this isn’t an inevitable truth—romance doesn’t disappear unless you stop nurturing it.

Romance Doesn’t Fade—It Flourishes With Effort
The idea that love naturally declines has influenced how people approach relationships. When we hear that romance “dies” over time, we start to accept it as fact. Expectations shrink, and partners settle into complacency. The truth? Love, intimacy, and passion are not limited by time—they thrive when given attention and care.

Emotional Intimacy Fuels Romance
Emotional intimacy is the foundation of lasting romance. Passion doesn’t have to fade into mere companionship. In fact, it’s easier to stay attracted to someone you deeply respect, admire, and enjoy. When partners feel truly understood and supported, attraction grows stronger, not weaker.

Physical intimacy, often associated with sex, is about more than just a physical act. It’s an expression of trust and connection. The strongest relationships nurture both emotional and physical closeness, ensuring that attraction remains vibrant, even as appearances change over time.

Physical Intimacy: Playful, Meaningful, and Rejuvenating
Many couples assume physical intimacy will always remain constant, but over time, it requires intentional effort. The key? Playfulness. Romance isn’t just about grand gestures—it’s built in small, everyday moments. A spontaneous laugh, a knowing glance, or a surprise embrace can reignite intimacy and connection.

Couples who share adventures, exercise together, or simply enjoy quality time often experience deeper bonds. Shared experiences strengthen emotional intimacy, making physical connection more fulfilling.

The Little Things Matter
Romance isn’t about lavish dates or extravagant gifts—it’s in the small, consistent acts of love. A kind word, a warm smile, or simply giving your full attention can strengthen a relationship.

Mutual respect and communication also play a crucial role. Thoughtful conversations, active listening, and shared laughter help sustain emotional and physical closeness. Even balancing everyday responsibilities, like household chores, can reduce stress and create space for intimacy.

Love and Romance Require Continuous Nurturing
Romance doesn’t just happen—it’s something both partners must cultivate. Love is an action, not a passive state. When a relationship is actively nurtured, it thrives. When neglected, it fades.

Long-term romance isn’t an unrealistic dream—it’s a choice. With effort, love deepens, passion evolves, and intimacy grows stronger over time. The secret to lifelong romance? Treat it as something worth investing in every day.

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 Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate love—but what about those who have everything except a valentine? If you have a single friend, parent, or even yourself wondering why love hasn’t arrived yet, it’s time to swap wishful thinking for action. Here’s the truth: love does not drop from your living room ceiling, and hope is not a strategy. 

Whether you’re single and searching or know someone who is, the best gift this Valentine’s Day isn’t another scented candle or gourmet chocolate—it’s the gift of real connection and a proven path to love. That’s exactly why my book, Get Married This Year, has been the go-to choice for people determined to transform their love lives. 

The Valentine’s Day Gift That Changes Love Lives 

At my book signings, I’ve met countless people gifting Get Married This Year with messages like: 

• “She’ll probably kill me, but she needs this!” 
• “My dad has been widowed for two years—it’s time for him to find love again.” 
• “I bought this for my college student. She doesn’t need to get married tomorrow, but she should date with the right mindset.” 
• “By next year, my son could have someone special to spend the holidays with.” 

If you (or someone you love) is hoping to find a committed relationship but isn’t any closer to one, this book provides a practical, no-nonsense strategy to turn dating frustrations into real results. 

Action Is the Best Medicine: How to Find Love This Year 

If you’re stuck in the cycle of bad dates, ghosting, or just feeling invisible in the dating world, it’s time to make changes. The essential steps include: 

• Keep and maintain self-confidence (or fake it ‘til you make it!) 
• Declutter relationship deadwood (let over be over) 
• Set up a successful self-marketing plan (never leave home without it!) 
• Apply the “Flirt Like Crazy” rules to spark attraction 
• Use “The Spouse Shopping List” to date only potential keepers (never bet on a horse that’s not in the race!) 
• Be genuine—feeling loved starts with being understood 
• Identify what attracted your past partners and keep that spark alive 

Love Notes: Quick Tips for Singles Ready for Love 

Here’s a sneak peek at some of the 74 Love Notes from the book—practical wisdom that can turn dating from a struggle into a success: 

• A date is not a confessional or therapy session. Keep your worries and regrets off the table until you know they are genuinely interested in you. 
• Prince and Princess Charming don’t make house calls. Go out at least three nights a week to meet new people. 
• Put the same initiative into finding love as you would for a dream job. Your self-presentation and mindset matter—believe you deserve love! 
• Dating is not a funeral. Potential partners are drawn to happiness. Laugh, smile, and bring positive energy to your dates. 
• Smiling is mandatory. If you’re out of practice, start with furniture, pets, or kids—then work your way up to adults. 
• Dress for the relationship you want. Make an effort to look your best every day. You never know who you’ll meet! 
• Not every rough stone has a diamond inside. If a relationship feels like hard work from the start, stop excavating and move on. 
• Within five dates, you should know when to hold ’em, fold ’em, walk away, or run. Don’t waste time on the wrong person. 
• It’s easier to reach for the stars when someone is holding the ladder. Love thrives when you and your partner lift each other up. 

The Bottom Line: Love is Out There, But You Have to Find It 

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a reminder of what’s missing—it can be a catalyst for change. The best gift for any single person who’s ready for love? A roadmap to finding it. 

So, whether you’re shopping for a friend, a family member, or yourself, Get Married This Year is more than a book—it’s a game plan for real love and real results. 

Ready to find love? Don’t wait another year—grab your copy of Get Married This Year today and start your journey to love! Buy Now 

Effective communication requires tact and positivity. There is a reason people used to kill the messenger of bad news. They are irritating. Nagging, being confrontational, or shaming is unpleasant and rarely induces the continuation of talking or even remaining in the near area. Communication that counts is effective, deliberate, and kind.

Let’s review some tips on the right and wrong ways to convey a message, be productive, and either keep the peace or create it.

Don’t say:

“What’s your problem?”

(It is a cranky response and is a complaint, not a question.)

Instead, say:

“You seem upset, Is there

anything you want to discuss or

change?”

Don’t say:

“Calm down.” (I guarantee that

they’ll be more upset than

ever. It is a harsh, unsympathetic directive.)

Instead, say:

“Something must have

happened, do you want to tell

me about it?”

Don’t say:

 “Be logical.” (It’s really patronizing and a euphemism for calling someone stupid.)

Instead, say:

“I’m sorry I don’t understand.

I will tell you what I think you mean and you can

tell me what I’ve missed.”

Don’t say:

“You are dumb, heartless,

a nag, etc.” (Insults create distance, and character assassination is not good foreplay.)

Instead, say:

“Could we start over? I want to communicate well and settle all of our disagreements successfully. Please tell me what you want and need; then I will tell you what I want and need.”

Don’t say:

“Never or always” (Even

the worst of us gets it right

sometimes so it is both inaccurate and discouraging.)

Instead, say:

“Would you do me a favor?” (Then briefly state your current complaint and ask for the desired correction with no

past referencing.)

Conveying your true feelings is important, but how you convey them is just as important. When communicating,

avoid adding extra hurt or complications to the presenting problem.

A dispute can be healthy for a relationship if it’s done

respectfully and you both come out of it with better understanding when the conflict is resolved. For optimal connection, follow the suggestions below.

Rules of Engagement

Be very specific when you introduce your complaint.

• State what change would satisfy your complaints.

• Get feedback to make sure they’ve heard you.

• Deal with only one issue at a time.

• Be prepared to compromise.

• Never assume; ask.

If it’s not going well, stop and set a time to talk again when neither of you is tired, overwhelmed, or under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

The Keeping Connected Rule Book

Don’t dredge up the past

Sleep as naked and as close as you can.

Go to bed mad. Things seem different in the morning and the discussion will be less dramatic.

Listen without interrupting and set a time limit on the length of expression.

• Keep tour love’s strong points and what you love about them on

your mind: positive regard is essential for a good attitude.

• Talk about your partner positively to others. If you need to vent, do so

to your mate’s fans or your therapist.

• Be happy on your own: happiness is infectious.

• Join your partner in some of their choices and be cheerful about it.

• Clear the air: when something bothers you, speak up

and suggest an alternate behavior. No one reads

minds.

• Make all of your communications kind.

• Develop a sense of timing: bring up the harder issues when he

• Give the gift of gratitude and appreciation: let them know they are a

success at making you happy.

There is a bright side to fighting and that is moving forward.

For More Relationship Tips and Insights:

If you found these tips helpful and want to dive deeper into building and maintaining a healthy, lasting relationship, I invite you to explore my book, Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”. It’s packed with expert advice, practical strategies, and real-world examples to help you navigate the complexities of love, communication, and connection.

You can find more information and order your copy here (https://www.drjanetpage.com/book/)

Getting Ready for Love

If you need to make personal changes, now is the time to start. These four guidelines will help improve your quality of life and self-market. Do your best to change what needs fixing. Don’t let it show with whatever isn’t fixable or if you are a work in progress. A date or a potential new friend is not a rabbi, priest, or therapist – it’s an opportunity. Do not present less desirable qualities or bad situations as the definition of who you are. If you tell someone that you are problematic and not worth their love or their interest right up front, they’ll probably do you the courtesy of believing you.

START FROM THE INSIDE OUT

Harried is not sexy. Your being overwhelmed signals that you don’t have the space in your life to be a good partner. Do what you need to do to achieve peace of mind. A relaxed attitude is attractive and sends a clear and lovely message that you have time for love.

Procrastination takes its toll psychologically. It keeps your mind cluttered and robs you of a sense of accomplishment. Procrastinators usually have overly long to-do lists. Be realistic. Do only what needs to be done. Either take a task off your list or get started. Then schedule time for you. Either believe or pretend you deserve personal, educational, and spiritual development and periods of R&R.

Evaluate criticism. Determine if the critique fits you. If so, you have been given a gift. If a criticism doesn’t fit, there’s a 90% chance that your critics are describing themselves. Be grateful for advice from healthy people who care about you. Do not accept critiques from toxic sources. It is useless negativity.

Compliment yourself. Being harsh on yourself will also make you harder on the others in your life. Self-accepting people are less likely to be judgmental toward their dates and mates.

THINGS TO DO AT HOME

Improve it. It’s your nest, so make it a place you want to be in — for playing, exercising, cooking, singing, dancing, praying, and relaxing. Fill it with wonderful aromas. Play music sweet to your ears. Create comfortable spaces for yourself and your guests.

Reduce clutter. Give away or dispose of what you don’t need or love, and organize the rest. It’s freeing and calming, and depending on where you donate, it might be tax deductible.

Turn off the phone, alerts, and notifications. Don’t answer when you need uninterrupted time for yourself or for building intimacy with loved ones. Date time should not be interrupted by cell phone calls or texts that are not emergencies. You and anyone you may want to love need breaks from the outside world.

Turn down the volume. Much of electronic media promotes negativity. Stay current and informed, but select a news source and entertainment that screens out gratuitous violence and keep the noise level at 30 or below to decrease noise pollution in your home.

THINGS TO DO OUTSIDE THE HOME

Divorce difficult friends. Almost everybody is occasionally hard to handle, and so are you. But do your sanity a favor and leave behind the people who are difficult all the time. They are almost always selfish and time-consuming They will hinder you in reaching your goals and, in the future, be a stress on the healthy, loving relationships you develop.

Recognize that your time is precious. Happiness is an attainable state of mind. Collect people who agree with this concept, and you are doubling your chances of maintaining it.

Don’t fix what works.  Not every relationship requires analysis. If there are problems, speak up and admit them. If they are solvable or of true importance, come up with solutions. If not, emulate the Scarlett O’Hara school of crisis management and “think about it tomorrow,” or drop it altogether. In happy relationships, at least one partner is good at differentiating little from big.

BEATING THE BLUES

Practice imperfection. Excellence is a goal that you are less likely to achieve if you are attempting to be perfect. Choose some areas to be adequate- package wrapping, thank you notes, returning all calls, for example. Life is more livable if you don’t try to be good at everything. Set daily and weekly priorities and regularly ask yourself if you are currently doing what matters to you.

Laugh a lot. If you don’t have a ready supply of humor, buy some. Go to comedy shows, and read amusing books, tapes, slogans, and posters. Then share what’s funny with others. Laughter is infectious, lifting the spirit and clearing the mind.

Smile. If you don’t, practice on small mammals and furniture. Add people you know. Proceed to people you don’t know.

Reduce expectations. Double the time you give yourself (and others) for tasks. Forgive mistakes regularly and rapidly.

PUSH POSITIVE BUTTONS

Get a perspective on depression. Much of it is circumstantial. When your adored family pet dies, you’ve been cruelly rejected, or your best friend moves across the country, sadness needs to be felt and experienced, not bottled. Loss is painful, and major loss is catastrophic for a while. The unexpressed feeling lasts longer, can get worse, and may come out much later in ways you could regret. But don’t let it drag past a healthy limit and become your excuse for limiting your life quality.

Be revealing to those you feel you want to know better and who are capable of understanding. Reveal yourself through stories of childhood, teenage experiences, and current feelings. Answer honestly when caring, trustworthy people ask how you are or if they can help.

Use emotional intelligence with effective communication. Which sentences are more effective:

“When you yell, I can’t listen because I get scared and defensive,” or “I hate it when you treat me like this.”

“Would you help me” or “You never help me.”

“Thank you for taking out the trash” or “It’s about time you took out this mess”.

The first choices are more likely to achieve a positive outcome. The second choices point out what they are doing wrong and are more likely to create an argument.

We all have baggage. Please limit yours to one carry-on bag in good condition.

For More Relationship Tips and Insights:

If you found these tips helpful and want to dive deeper into building and maintaining a healthy, lasting relationship, I invite you to explore my book, Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”. It’s packed with expert advice, practical strategies, and real-world examples to help you navigate the complexities of love, communication, and connection.

You can find more information and order your copy here.

Did you know that you can stay positive virtually all the time? It’s a choice. But what if you expect good and don’t always get the outcome you’re hoping for? Well, if you expect the worst, you won’t always get the desired results either. Choosing the brighter outlook produces time spent cheerful and happy instead of downtrodden by gloomy predictions. Doesn’t that make sense?

Do you have a positive outlook on life? Might you be in need of an attitude adjustment?

Even if you want to change it, better to have an attitude of good getting better than depress yourself by focusing on negatives.

Think about this:

Divorced is not pathetic. It is an opportunity for an upgrade. Even if he left you, more than likely you will live to see the day you thank him.

Becoming widowed leaves a painful void and life changes but your partner did not leave you willingly. Trust remains intact, and this trust can be a wonderful starting point for taking a risk on a brand new love adventure.

Never married doesn’t label you as the Great Unwanted. It simply means you never made a bad choice. The big plus is your relationship baggage is small enough to carry into a new love with less problems coming with you.

An imperfect commitment you don’t want to leave offers two choices. One, start finding, acknowledging, and saying out loud everything that is right about your partner. You never know – you might convince both of you this partnership is better than you think it is. Or, your other choice is to gently let it be and start focusing on your own self-improvement.

COVID has been a time of deepened appreciation for some couples, but it’s been a rude wake-up call verging on an extended nightmare for others. The happier couples were enjoying a honeymoon. The embattled ones were in teeth-gritting pain and avoiding contact for fear of bad getting worse and COVID provided meager opportunities for escape.

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